my face is breaking out again. must be the stress and dust from the cleaning spree. it has not ended. infact, cleaning spree is turning the house to be in a bigger mess. the boys have packed their stuff and moved their beds into my old room. meanwhile, i have to sleep on a mattress on the floor until the new furniture comes in.
dont talk abt the dust. i kept sneezing ever so often that i think i might have dislodge part of my brain. not forgetting the blasted rashes/pimples forming on my face.
the fiance will be the opening act for the alicia keys concert. and of coz, i wont be there to check it out, what could be one of the highlights of his career. he doesnt truly believe that i am happy for him. scared that i might say no. what only. i know i am possessive and paranoid at times but i am not an idiot when it comes to recognizing what is a huge opportunity for him.
eh u dont insult me ah. *puffing mad* silly billy.
school was ok. 3es made their own pizza. the dough made by themselves. yeast segala. and turns out to be the best pizza they ever tasted. its the pride in doing something from scratch yourself. next week we doing paos, dumplings and dimsums. with C out of the class, everyone feels more motivated to learn. C was such a bad influence on the rest.
had the number bejillion talk with my class abt what happened on friday. almost.. again, almost cried. but maintained. its not anger but disappointment. god, for that moment when i was 'lecturing' them, i truly was in my mother's size five shoes. i felt what she could have felt when i had done something terribly wrong and upsets her. i felt so depressed.
i had not been the best of daughters most of the times. i had made her cry plenty many. i had infuriated her and pissed her off beyond beyond. goodness. only when i have these 'kids' i realised what i a fool i have been. how much pain that someone whom u truly love and care for can cause u.
i have already said, i didnt feel the labour pains of giving birth to the 40 kids in my class but i feel the pains of bringing them up, taking care of them, turning them into a good and educated person.
i salute all mothers. especially mine. with me, R and M's karenah, only god knows the kind of sheer torture we inflicted on her for the past 25 years.
sidetrack: R got into an accident two nights back. a car banged into him while he was riding back to the shop after a pizza delivery. thank god it was nothing and he spared us the trauma by not calling us from the hospital. my mom's heart cannot take anymore of this kind of surprises. and i seriously think R is going through a spate of bad luck. one after another. if its not warning signs from god, i dunno what to say. its too coincidental.
oh dear. now i am getting all paranoid. will go home and lock him up in his room and feed him by passing food under the cat flap (like we have a cat only!). he cannot go to school or out for that matter anymore. i will cradle him in my hands every night and sing him a lullaby. he wont miss his friends or life. he has me.
oh dear. now i sound psychotic.
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