grandmama

my grandma has been behaving in a very peculiar manner these past few days. its only then i realised the realness of what if's and in this case, what if she passes on.

i do hope this feeling i have is just paranoia. regardless if its true or not, i have made a personal commitment that i will put in more effort and help her out in any way i can to make her feel more comfortable and happy. i dont want to feel any regrets later on, when she is no longer with us, wanting to turn back the clock and so on. that would be too late for anything.

last night, i couldnt sleep. i kept touching her periodically to check her pulse. i think i might have annoyed her abit cuz she swatted my hands away sometime in the middle of the night. and this morning, i woke up with a massive headache from the lack of proper sleep.

husband said i worry too much. but he fully supports my quest to make my grandma as comfy and happy as possible.

i love my nenek.