and i came back

my thirty days in kl were almost up, so abdullah and i had to make our way back to singapore to get our passports chop and make our way back up again. mil offered to drive us back on friday morning and tentatively, we were to drive back to kl on monday morning.

so on friday morning, husband drove us to mil's place. we had woken up early to pack abdullah's stuff. the ride back to singapore was good. abdullah was an absolute angel. he slept the entire kl-sg drive back.

i didnt inform anyone from my family that i will be coming back. wanted to make it a surprise. when we finally reached my parents' door at 4pm, the maid opened the door. i told her to get my mother and grandmother who were napping. when they came out, they were so shocked! i cannot forget their happy faces. they were SO happy to see abdullah of course. everyone said abdullah look chubby and bigger now. and of course, everyone went crazy when abdullah started 'talking' to them. he gurgles and coos to you when you speak to him.

we had dinner as a family that night after a month of being away. my aunt had came over earlier to send lontong. nenek wanted to feed abdullah begedil and we thought it was damn funny.

after 8 ish i was already sleepy. abdullah was already fast asleep from the journey. my mother left for work, night shift. my two brothers went out as the norm. about ten ish, my father came back from work.

about 10.30pm, nenek came inside the room where abdullah and i was sleeping. she was looking at us intently. i woke up and said, "Nek, tidur nek. Dah malam." she said ok and walked back to her room to sleep.

sometime at 12.30, my maid woke me up. she said my grandma was acting funny. i quickly ran to her room.

my nenek was blue in the face and gasping for breath. her eyes was closed and she was unconscious. i tried waking her up but she did not respond. suddenly she stopped breathing. i immediately resuscitate her by massaging her chest. about a minute later, she started breathing again.

called the ambulance and they came and took her to changi hospital. i rode shotgun in the ambulance. i had a million thoughts dashing in my head. did i come back to bury my grandmother?

upon arriving the hospital, they wheeled her to the emergency room. my mother, brother, cousins and aunt came soon. they did a ct scan of her brain and there was a massive haemmorage. nothing could be done. my grandmother had a major stroke in her sleep. she was certified as brain dead but her lungs were still pumping and she was still breathing.

we wanted to arrange for her to come back home in the morning but she had to be warded first. everyone gathered around her bed and we were guiding her spiritually with yassin and selawat. sometime at 4.30am, she stopped breathing.

brought her body home sometime at 6am. by then, the house was cleaned and ready for a funeral. she received her last prayers at masjid kassim just after zohor and was buried soon after.

in my sadness, i am thankful to Allah that i managed to see her for the last time. Allah had arranged it in a way that i was back in singapore and not have to rush back from kl. Allah had arranged it in a way that she could see me and my son for the last time. Allah had arranged it in a way that i get to bring her to the hospital and she was surrounded on her death bed with her loved ones, guiding her spiritually. Allah had arranged it in a way that my mother's sadness was lessened with abdullah making her smile.

Allah works in mysterious, wondrous ways. we were all amazed. i could have decided to come back a day later and it would be too late.

my only regret was i didnt tell her i love and miss her when i came back on that day. i hope she knows. she took care of me since i was a baby and i had slept with her everynight on the same bed. she was the best grandmother i could ever have.

if you are reading this, i would appreciate it if you could sedekah an Alfatiha to her roh, Hajjah Hanifah Bte Haji Yussof.

i shall be in hiatus.